life is ... part chance and part choice

currently, I'm quite happy with how I live my life.

I can choose when I'm gonna be a lazy dumbass pig-cow couch potato and not take my shower for 2 days straight, just tv, food and sleep.

I can choose to go out and roam the streets around Kuala Lumpur, shooting photographs of things and places people barely notice.

I can choose to let loose, party and get wasted (my scandinavian colleague would prefer the word "mabuk" becos she find it very poetic).

I can choose to lie down in bed and read books, take notes on the rumi poems and get lost in paulo coelho's life philosophy.

I am not obligated to cling on a certain boyfriend, trying to make him happy while having to put up with stupid annoying comments while having dinner or watching tv together.

I am not obligated to tag along just one friend 24/7 having to endure gossips and complaints as if the world just evolve around her only.

I am not obligated to find myself a guy just becos I'm some very dependent person who could not be a minute in singlehood, will die if there's no boyfriend or male bestfriend and always in need of "love and attention" from the male species.

I am not obligated to maintaining a certain impression, I can be carefree, funny, wacky, crazy and still be me, nothing to hide, nothing to lose. I don't have to pretend to be private and mysterious to gain certain charisma and character in life.

This weekend, I had the chance to let loose a little bit, and most of all, catch up on fragile bonds I have with some old friends. I met a very old friend for drinks late Friday night, I spent two-nights with crazily loving people surrounded by the jazzy tender loving care, I walked back to nature and had a tiring but fun photowalk, I went to an old friend's wedding and having fun like those days of ciggie and coffee during college, and most of all, at the end of it, me and my mrsm girls went to play at the arcade at Midvalley and screamed like a bunch of little schoolgirls (who we always end up being) and felt so nice hugging them and catching up with them amidst the fast pace of my life these days.

life is part chance and part choice.

we are given chances and we can choose to either take them or not.

I was given a chance to rekindle some lose ends, and to loosen some tight grips.

I chose to take those chances and it was a good decision.

I was given the chance to watch live performances by 3 great singers, Atilia, Bob and Faizal Tahir during the weekend.

Its Sunday afternoon and I chose to be at the office writing this (not working obviously). But its okay. I chose to be were I am right now.

My chances and choices, given and taken.

nasi lemak

lately I have been having this cravings for nasi lemak. and its not for those nasi lemak nicely packed in brown papers or banana leaves or newspapers. I want a plate of nasi lemak where I can see the sambal, the telur, both boiled and fried and the timun at the sides and all. (thanks to che din who posted a nasi lemak picture on his flickr the other day).

yesterday morning, I was so hungry (due to not having dinner and vomiting before I slept and when I woke up). but as I drove to work, a couple of nasi lemak stall were in sight. however I was rushing trying to get into the office early becos of the recent "time keeping" memo my director sent me, I was determined to come in the office by 9 (not, I got in at 9.37am).

everyday I park my car downtown jalan tun sambanthan. in the dodgiest place ever. I heard a lot of people got mugged there and I, too, was once stalked by a guy who purposedly wandered around my car waiting for me to step down from the car. but downtown jalan tun sambanthan was the only cheap parking available around klsentral area and recently knowing that I can spot parking places where I need not pay is much more better. so, everyday as I walk/hike up to my office which is approximately 800m (believe me, I know so, I used to do long-distance running in school), I would pass by some small food stalls along the way but due to rushing and always having breakfast at home, I never had the reason to stopped at these stalls.

today I did. I wanted the nasi lemak badly and its already friday. I stepped into the stall. the guy was very friendly. "makan, bungkus?" .. "bungkus". he scooped the nasi into the polistrine and hand it over to me. I took all the lauk that I previous imagined about. a normal nasi lemak. with eggs, both boiled and fried. as I was paying, he sparked up a conversation with me.

Nasi Lemak Guy: Adik kerja mana?

Nasi Lemak Craver: Owh, saya kerja dekat Plaza Sentral atas tu.

Nasi Lemak Guy: Bangunan baru ke lama?

Nasi Lemak Craver: Yang sebelah MIDA tu.

Nasi Lemak Guy: Oooo, baru je kan kerja situ? Selalu gak abang nampak adik lalu sini.

Nasi Lemak Craver: *gulp* Errr, saya dah kerja kat sini dari Disember lagi. Memang parking sini. Atas sana mahal lah.

Nasi Lemak Guy: Yelah, sehari 30 ringgit kan. Tapi memang selalu nampak awak jalan sini.

Nasi Lemak Craver: *blush* Tu la. Selalu lalu sini tapi hari ni teringin sangat nak nasi lemak. Okaylah bang, terima kasih ya. Jalan dulu.

Nasi Lemak Guy: Sama-sama. Bye.


Its kind of embarrassing to know that some people have kept an eye on you. Embarrassing, freaky yet, flattering at some point. I for one am known for walking so fast not noticing the people around me, especially when I stuff the MP3 headphone to my ears.

But somehow rather, I felt good. To actually be part of the life that I walk in day by day. To interact with abang jual nasi lemak, aunty cleaner, coffee lady, the cobbler by the sidewalk and those parking attendants. I always have little chats with them whenever I can, so I feel belong in the society I claim my local community.

This just make me misses my kampung very very much. Do you know that the Chinese aunties in Guchil, Kelantan speaks fluent Kelantanese dialect and the Chinese uncles in Parit, Perak would have the coolest "keme orang peghok" dialect ever!!! And owh, the paddy fields.