Abby has come undone

(inspired to write after reading Rainer Marie Rilke's "Letters to a Young Poet" and some Rumi poetries in the wee hours of the morning)

I saw you,
Bulan
Di sebalik dahan dahan yang kering kontang
Wishing so hard
To reach up
Menggapai perlahan
Namun tidak kesampaian

I stood there alone
Di tengah jalan yang sunyi sepi
Trying to feel you inside me

Bulan tidak berkelip
Staring restlessly down
But silent without words
Seolah olah cuba menjaga hati yang remuk
Walaupun ku keliru
Sama ada hati itu hatiku atau hatimu

If only I could spend the whole night staring
Kepada bulan yang cukup cantik pekerti
Namun kerna kewajipan aku harus pergi
Leaving the moon alone so pretty

This is a mixture of language
Dua bahasa yang ditutur setiap hari
But it is for only one thing
Sang bulan yang amat ku cintai

-Abby Latif at 8.45pm, November 17th 2008-

My full weekend.

Friday night, despite the fact that I was left out from the SD plan (yelah, korang intimidated yek??? hahaha), I met my girls at Bangkok Jazz for the first time (their first time, not mine). Me and Lilia got there first because the other 4 syaitons have been stalled by traffic, due to not inviting me to the SD plan (again, I shall make you guys burn in guilt, haha). So we had our catching up despite the fact that our office building was just next to each other. Haha. Waited until 12 when those syaitons managed to arrive, hehehe ... Don't worry girls, I love you all to bits. Had their drinks and fun before Miss Preggie wanted to eat so off we went to Pelita KLCC (convoying 4 cars were kinda, fun).

It was also a bonus that Dennis Lau was guest artiste of the night with Adrienne Wong's band. Managed to kiss and hug before he goes on stage, and as always, he was simply mesmerising!

Thanks to Mr. Junjun (think thats his name) who offered to take our pictures. Lovely guy, wished I had a drink with him, Haha.

The session at Pelita however cracked me up to the buttocks! I haven't laughed that hard since ... wow, okay, for quite sometime. Thanks Ladies for such a wonderful time. I heart you lasses!!! And for those who came all the way, Dayana, Tazz and Alin, hope it was worth the trip!


Saturday, I managed to stay home in the morning, did some laundry and watched 'Orang Minyak Naik Minyak' in the afternoon with Mama. At least spared sometime being with her, okay la.

Later me and Muid head to Capsquare to watch Yuna and Kokokaina at the U.O.X. Play event. Yuna was seriously good while Kokokaina or Zee is just sweetly talented. I was quite surprised that she remembers my name and came up to me when I saw her "Hey Abby!". Adorably cute, and her talent is just too hard to resist! Hang out with Shafina, later joined by Effa and her friend, Aisyah (who came by after their Cosmo event), Oya, Donna and Atilia. Its fun having them around and Atilia met another few friends who are siimply cool and I just like it when they're very open in goofing around in public, not caring about wanting to maintain/control cun or whatever. Being your own self is the ultimate virtue yo!

U.O.X. Play at Capsquare presented by Celcom

Sometime during Kokokaina's performance, Effa came up to me and told me she had lost her phone. I was so shocked and sad for her. We tried calling it again and again, to see whether it vibrated in one of the bags (she was carrying 3 bags!). She then decided that she's not in the mood to stay throughout the event so I walked her half-way to the LRT station. I felt bad though, I should've sent her home but I didn't drive that day cos I came with Muid. Too bad I couldn't call up to check on her (since she has no phone, but later I knew she got home safe cos she posted an FB note, hehe)

Around 8pm, me and Muid went to Yellow Cab Pizza Co. for dinner, which was just across the road at Jalan Raja Abdullah and then straight home. Muid mentioned about wanting to dance so I texted Nur to ask about the Brasilian party she mentioned. Since the cover charge was RM20, I figure it should be doable.

Unfortunately, Muid passed out asleep, leaving me ignited by the wants of dancing. And so I decided, I'm going, period. So I texted Nur to find out where it was and head out around 11.30pm. Arrived at Cloth & Clef at Changkat Bukit Bintang around 12am and stood outside for a good 15mins since the place was totally crowded until Nur asked me to come in. The samba party, the dance and performances, the band and the crowd was great! You really get the brasilian feel and everyone was dancing together at the dance floor, circling the musicians. Although for just an hour, we had serious fun dancing with the crowd, I stepped out for a ciggie and end up grooving with the girl at the front counter who is just so dancy! Hehe.

As I walked back to my car, I saw a gorgeous full moon behind leafless branches. Unfortunately my digicam couldn't capture the magic of it. And as usual, I swung my hand to a metal table near the parking lot and scratched it. Didn't realise it was bleeding until the lights from the intersection in one of those junctions on Jalan Sultan Ismail shone on it. Ah, me, accident prone, so whats new.


Sunday, Effa gave me a wake-up call for our run and its a good thing that she decided to go ahead with it despite her lost, she did want to divert her attention for a bit. So picked her up at 8.40am and straight to Lake Garden. Guess we did about 5kms around the park and then, we went to the Islamic Arts Museum's parking and had Effa practiced her driving with my Kembara. That was fun. Good Job Effa! Hehe. Later we went to KL Sentral to go to Digi Centre to retrieve her simcard, then downtown to Jalan Tun Sambanthan to the Sentral Chapati House with Shafina and Adi (who later joined us) fr some chapati. Thanks Adi for belanja'ing us!!! Went home and I passed out. The exhaustion and the mutton curry was all it took for me to get a great undisturbed sleep. Haha. Spent the rest of the day at home, eating and sleeping in.


Of course I must mention about Nadi's suggestion of Rainer Marie Rilke's 'Letters to a Young Poet' which had me reading until 2am in the morning. I've only gotten to Letter Four but it is an inspiring read for me. Will do more reading tonight, hopefully.

Later folks.

Reminiscing

Reading Razlin's note on Wawan's graduation somehow brought me down memory lane.

We moved a lot. I never went to any kindergarten. Those days, it was just reading Yongie's and Muid's schoolbooks for me. Or poking our maid's butt whenever she bends over the washing machine. Seriously, that was fun enough. Remembered those days when Abah tried to turn my 4-wheel (yes, have been a 4WD driver since 4) to 3 wheels, until I fell flat on my cheeks as I was riding downhill in our house in Selayang.

Owh, those memories. The house seems so big back then. Maybe cos I was so small. I remembered when Abah went to Australia (before we went to join him), Mama would take us out every single weekend, on the bus, and crash all cinemas, regardless what was showing. Of course, my favourite can drink 'Sudi' soda was a must-buy whenever we stroll down Chow Kit Road. Yes, sipping 'Sudi' cola with a soundtrack of Sudirman's Chow Kitt road is so nice. I was already humming to it when I was 5.

The only pre-school experience I had was in Queenscliff. But Abah was adamant enough to expose me to the Malaysian education, so he brought with us a stack of Primary One books. Just for me. By the time we came back to Malaysia and stationed in JB, I had practically memorised everything in the syllabus and school was just a place not for learning, but just so happen I needed day-care. I was more excited to bringing my boldly red ALF bag to school then meeting anyone actually. The ones I wanted to meet was just my brother, who could just spare me his recess time having a small sister tagging along, or maybe those couple of times sticking my head at Yongie's class, complaining how "Yong... adik tak siap homework" until her teachers all got used to it. Haha, sorry Yongie. Such a nuisance, I know.

Pre-school in Queenscliff was something else. I remembered vividly how my teacher got panicked when I started crying during a classmate's birthday party in class. Just so happen, I was supposedly trying to fast when they brought out the delicious chocolate cake with smarties topping the white cream icing. She had to run to Yongie's class and called Yongie, who came and just guide me to reciting the 'doa buka puasa'. Of course, a happy camper after that, I was on top of the world happily eating with friends, didn't even share with Yongie. Well, dia puasa kan. Hahaha.

I never could remember what I learned there. The only thing that amused me was the blue pencils we use everyday instead of normal pencils. That was funny. And Kyle. Owh Kyle. Who at that time look more suited for Jennifer. Who's also pretty. But who did I end up kissing behind the bushes? Cameron. Sissy Cameron. Who later told Philip about it. Who then stole a kiss in the middle of the hallway. Yucks, I ran away. Then I remembered 'Show n Tell'. Miranda brought a penguin. I never knew penguin can live in places outside where there's no ice or snow. So I figured she must've had an artificial igloo at home for her penguin. Or maybe just keep the penguin in a freezer or something. Well, at least I gave it a thought. Bear in mind, I was 6.

Owh, and those monopoly games we used to play at Aunty Lydia's place. Endless. At the tender age of 6, I learn about real estates. And know what mortgages were. And I wonder why my parents were making a big fuss about me being 'piranha' who loves money (i.e. spending money). Parents should take note of what they've exposed their children to, hehe.

And those chess games I used to play with Abah. I was so loving chess. At 6, all the new things were so fascinating. I know Abah let me win all the time. But of course, I would just want to admit my being a genius.

When we were growing up and moving around, I noticed one thing, regardless the different school Abah had to register me, Muid and Yongie, he will always be there on our first day. And Mama. All our sick days, she would take leaves to tend to us. I remember those small ribena packet drinks Mama and Abah will buy when we're lying down in bed with tissues all over the place, a basin of water and cloth to wipe our faces and body.

I remember when I started wearing braces. I was in MRSM. Abah never fail to follow me to my monthly check up, even though I was in boarding in Melaka, and the whole family were elsewhere, Selayang, Port Dickson, then Sungai Besi.

But the day I had to take them off. Abah was in East Timor serving for the United Nations. He wasn't there. I remembered my pet-sis sitting beside me in the car that we had to rent to get to the hospital,l who got so shocked when I started crying. I cried because, for the first time, Abah wasn't there. I did everything with Abah by my side, my first days in 7 schools, my dental appointments.

I also remembered crying when I was warded for my severe athsma attack when I was 17. Abah and Mama weren't in the country, they were in Turkey. I cried in the hospital bed, having Juju's family instead who visited me. Whatever happened to them now, I don't know. I was grateful to have my friends, who helped me when I was having that seizure or some sort. I remembered grabbing and squeezing Tina's hand, gasping for air to breathe. That was my worst attack.

Remembering is good sometimes. Just to keep track what we do remember in life.

I know, the person I grew up to be, was not the same exact person as I was growing up.

People change. Alin said some drastic change happened recently. And knowing me for nearly 12 years, I take her word on it. And this is coming from someone who actually haven't seen me for awhile, who will magically know when I'm sad, or I'm down, for some weird cosmic mystery of the universe on how she would figure it out.

I now know I have written things off track. Initially, I wanted to remember what was pre-school days for me. We have come to the inter-junction of my now life.

If only I can experience that one day. That day when I fell down on the way to Point Lonsdale Primary School. I know that. Because I have a picture of it on my wall, with a handyplast on my knee.

We often want to relive our previous lives.

Its not that we hate the lives we're living today.

But I guess the little "adik baby" inside me never grew up.

Trying Times

Things we talk about ...


Abby: I'm not clingy. but I'd like to be informed. tu je.
Fynaz: hahahha..babe..are u sure u arentclingy?
Abby: becos maybe dah biasa duty report kot
Fynaz: :-P
Abby: cheh. saja je
Fynaz: kan???
Abby: I jenis duty report. I just like to know that person is safe and well. I am very affectionate and clingy, but not to the extend of annoying kan? I mean, if one ask for space, I give. if one ask to be hug, I give.


Yes, those are the things I need to work on. More like, have FIRM control of.

My Bathroom Habits

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are a giving soul. Way too giving, in fact. You often get stuck doing the dirty work that no one else will do. You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very stylish dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style. You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal. In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

mainiulengguej. aimasdokumendis! The 'Mejik' Lengguej!

(diskleimer, radzieniskandararnotbraders)

I think I have such cool and crazy friends who are cool enough to participate in this tremendously astonishing discovery I've made after 5 cans of chilled nescafe in one day.

Abby is asking (duyiulaikmainiulengguej?)

(Wednesday November 12th, 2008 at 8pm)


Radzi Ibrahim: watlengguejisdis?saks!!!

Abby Latif: yiunofanetol! dislengguejisverigret! itiseniudiskaveri!!!! yiulasaks!

Radzi Ibrahim: gudfofesbuk!uarejinius

Iskandar Ibrahim: yiuniverimerepek..

Nadrah Mustafa: shayateedhakphaheemlaakhaakakabbb?

Abby Latif: aimerepekonlifoniudiskaveriendetswaiaiisjinius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iskandar Ibrahim: dislengguejlooqslaikbahsejermanyiunou..

Radzi Ibrahim: aiyemkonfius

Abby Latif: batdisismailengguej! disismaidiskaveri! aisholpetendislengguejandermainem!

Abby Latif: pelisdonkonpiusokei. mailengguejisdimosizieslengguejtulen.

Nadrah Mustafa: qeepaalaaohhhtaqqshayaachudahhpeeneeengkot?

Abby Latif: adik, yiumassetiktudebesiktang, donchenjtudifikultsepelling.

Iskandar Ibrahim: aigifap.. yewkamapwifdislengguejsoyewtinkyewterrer? ailaflaudlaudrolrolondefelor..

Radzi Ibrahim: egrid!egrid!masprotekdelengguej

Abby Latif: yiurollahmenitaimspunyiuwonbeasjiniusenterreresme!!!!!!!!

Nadrah Mustafa: weh i tak boleh baca dah. hahahhaa

Abby Latif: nononodonbrekdechein!

Radzi Ibrahim: uuhboestingye?jiniusdunshoof,deygetnotis

Nadrah Mustafa: phineeeeyedunnnbreekdeecheein. eyedununesetandwattjiuwrrote

Iskandar Ibrahim: yiudontinkainoterreresyiu. aipikapverifasyiuno? sodetmekmidejiniusoso!

Nadrah Mustafa: haaaaradhjiiiishriteejiniusdunshoof,deygetnotis,kaakjiunoojinius

Raja Norashikin: ithinkicangetusetoitkot.

Abby Latif: okeila. hukenhendeldislengguejennotbrekdecheinisesjiniusenterreresaiem.

Raja Norashikin: cumamineejaansebenar. peninglanaktukartukarejaan. hakudahlamemangpening. komemeningkanlagiakugamaknya!!!

Nadrah Mustafa: shoodhahlahhasayenhakboowatkherjah. haeepikerakingjiourhaeds

Iskandar Ibrahim: disesmailasposondisniudiskaveriaihopyiuaulenjoienhaffan. aiseluttuebbifodediskavriofdislangguij. kongratiulasyen!

Radzi Ibrahim: saunslaikyulotheftugoautengetelaif

Abby Latif: yiugaisni, nopriseverensetol! hahahahaha ..... baidewei radzi, yiuwerdewanhunotisdislengguejsoairesmaikesinmaibiyingejinius.

Nadrah Mustafa: guuwaadaathaktaehunn

Radzi Ibrahim: nauaiyemhanggri.dinneeniwan?

Abby Latif: aiemgoyingfodinewitmaiferen. eraunpusatbandardamansara. ifyiunakjoenfokopiderkenoso.

Radzi Ibrahim: saunsgudbataimlezitugoaut.taimturifleksontudeisheppeningenivens

Abby Latif: hepirifleksing. aiwilhefmaigosipsesyenwitmaiferen.

Ahmad Tarmizi: apeapesajelahkorangnipeninbacekomendlmni...

Abby Latif: mizifeillafodislengguej! hehehehe ......

Iskandar Ibrahim: gudmauningeyveriwan! dismauningaidisaidedtuseteyyinbeytlaungerdenyestedei. lasnaitshutingbes. ailafdegerlsomas. shiverihot.

Iskandar Ibrahim: mizidonanderstenebbisniudiskaveriofdislangguij. mizisaikiuverilo.

Abby Latif: rili? waiisyiushuthotgerlelon? ohgudmauningtuyiutu. aiwosverihaipelasnaitaiwilraitenotebautit.

Abby Latif: hahahahaha, iskandarissojahatseimizisaikiulo. pitimizi, himasdusamkechingap.

Iskandar Ibrahim: saunsverigud. yiuriatnotlaikdisyewsingdisniulangguijsipipelandestantak? mizigotlotkechingaptodo. wainotyiuraitpoyemosoyewsingdislangguij? eefgot, aishuergifeettumaiawekenshuershiwillaikeetenselepmaifeskosshiheydeqridingeet..


(Thursday November 13th, 2008 at 10.31am)


Iskandar Ibrahim: aiwantuseykonggratuleysentuebbifodeniudiskaveriofdiswateyvalangguij.shiisveriterrertukamapwifdis.

Nelleisa Omar: i do not understand this. very sorry. too much of a read for the AM. ;)

Abby Latif: Take 5! Nell, Its just a reading when you malas malas wanna do work ok babe. ;-)

(okeibekon!)

iskandaraitengkiuverimachkosyiupreismilaikdet. aitingdisisgoyingtubeegretdiskaverifohiumenkain.

Nik Azwaa-Azmi: If i start reading this, i'll never get any work done.

Abby Latif: Take 2! Waa, you must master the magical skill of multi-tasking!

Iskandar Ibrahim: nel.. alayiuridseloseloyiushuerandersten. tekyowtaimtuanderstendelangguij.

ebbi.. yorwelkem. yesdisniulangguijisdebesdiskaveriengretfohiumenkain! aiselutyiu!

Abby Latif: iskandaraiwiltekyorchellenjturaitepoyemyiuzingdislengguej! letmiduwerkfers.

Nelleisa Omar: datisdeting.iridseloseloosoikanotanderstandwatisdis!

Abby Latif: yei! nelisgoyingtupikidapveriselobatshiisgettingdejisofit! donworinel. itisverisimpelkositismaidiskaveri. aidondiskaverdifikultstaf.

Nadrah Mustafa: ghuwaammmaalassnndaakkmmbhaachaaseekhaarangg

Iskandar Ibrahim: wau! neliskechingapfas! yeiebbiwanturaitpoyem! aiwanleflefjiywangkarat,oukey? aiwantugiftuawekestes. eefshikenriddepoyemyewsingdislangguijdatminsshiisdewanfomi.

Abby Latif: wau, iskandarairiliedmaiyerhauyiufaindelefofyorlaif! aiegri! doshukenanderstendislengguejisosodewanaiwantubifreinswit! aiwilraitdepoyemsun!

Nadrah Mustafa: ayedonteeinkeyehulfassgudasjiupeepulareeeentookinginkhaakeebilengguej

Nelleisa Omar: dislengguejnidskilsyo. demhadtoriddis. nidpashens.

Abby Latif: ainautingaiememejiksyen! disniulengguejislaikmejik!

yesnel. dislengguejisdialtimettestuyorpeshens.

Arun Fazhillah: someone please encrypt this code....

Abby Latif: lerningniulengguejstimuletdebren, soifdisisenkripted, watisdeyusofdiskaveringniulengguej?

Nadrah Mustafa: ainidtokenchlaab

Ahmad Tarmizi: alahai... english pleeeassse... or Bahasa ker...
if concentrate every words, tak buat keje laaaa aku weh! ceh!

Abby Latif: iskandaraihaskamapwitdepoyem!!!

hiyeritgos:-

oopritigerl, desanshainferomyorais.
oopritigerl, demunlaitsapderotwipas.
oopritigerl, denaitiswormwenyiuwitme.
oopritigerl, yiuluklaiksofwormsamerbris.

oopritigerl, seidetyiuwilbimain
bikosifyiukenriddis, wiarmedtubitugeder!

Rajen Ramasamy: Apa ke bahasa ini? Congolese ka???

Abby Latif: Take 1! Rajen ... Get with the programme! It is a new language discovered by me!!! Last night! After 5 cans of chilled nescafe!! Hahahaha .............

Omar Jamaludin: omaigaud

Abby Latif: yesomar, yiuargudketcherap!

Farah Zainul: etfesaiheranapasaltaipoebbimelampau, tapilepasbaceaipahamsangat..
sebabaipunslalunakejemacamnikan?

agakhepijugakakhirnyeperkataanperkataanaisepertifesbukataueveribadibolehdigunesecarebesabesaran

naweveribadinos!!

Abby Latif: ahahahaha .... endetiswaiailafyiusomach! ainoyiuwilanderstendisniulengguejofmain!

Suzie Borhan: Abby.....u alien dari planet mana?!

Abby Latif: hahahahaha... aiisdialtimetmiutensuperhiro! aikendiskaverniulengguej! aiisjinius!!!

Ahmad Tarmizi: alien dari planet lengguegiler!

Reza Jailani: lengguejkancenggeegee!

Abby Latif: yiuolnisuketukardesepellingaidonandersten. disiseverisimpellengguejforomenkerekter.

Dina Zaman: iamnotgonnaattempttoreadthis

Abby Latif: hahahaha, batyorweiofraitingisegudinafetemoredi.

Suzie Borhan: Abby....pokok2 kat luar tu are waitng for you.....if i understand what they are saying....diaorang ckp lama tak berborak dengan you....pergilah borak dgn diaorg!

Abby Latif: okeila, aiwilgofosigeretbrek. yiuolkenresnau.

Suzie Borhan: Lu pergi sekolah mana dulu? Spelling ada fail ka? Tembak itu cikgu!!

Abby Latif: sisisnotsetisfait. wailasis? maidiskaveringniulengguejhesnatingtuduwitcikgusekolah.

Aniq Husda: yuolltotellispikrabishwatfor!plisspikperoperinglishlaifnotaiwollapyuoll!!

Abby Latif: waiyiuwanawollapesol? winotkacauyiupun.

Radzi Ibrahim: disisdestatingofeniuerainlengguej. aibetdeefbiiensiaiewilhefetaftaimtodisiferdiskod(lengguej)

Aniq Husda: aiinglishtisherveridisepointetwanwityuoll.Yudonohauisafertishingnauyuwantukorapdelengguej!Iskiskisk....

Abby Latif: yes. aiwilbikamlaikkristeperkolembesordarwinorelekzendegrehembelfodiskaveringsachniulengguejlaikdis.

Aniq Husda: shemonyuabby!!rilly...aimsodisepointet!!:(

Abby Latif: yiuhesmistekenmaipoin. aiisdiskaveringniulengguejendisisnotinglish. plisdonfildisapoented.

Radzi Ibrahim: abbyyushudraitebukyusingdisniulengguej. aibetyuwilwinpraizesfoyoreffotenitwiltekejestufinishriding.

Aniq Husda: ifaihefshuldrenaiwellnotletdemeniwerniaryoucozyuarlengguejkorapter! hahahahha

Abby Latif: batdeiarmaifiuchernisesornephiyius! waiaryiutekingdemaweiferommi????

Radzi Ibrahim: wikenseldisniulengguejtuspaisenmekmilliensofdollars.

Aniq Husda: ebbypliswasshyobrenyusingFEBenKAOATEK!Veriklinwan.

Abby Latif: aitingmainiupoyemdetairotfoiskandarisdesetatingpoinofmaimekingmiliyonofdolers.

yong, waiduyiupropossachtings? yiuwanyorsistertudai???????????

Sharifah Razlin: ebisniudiskaveriismekingmaimatajuling...bat...kongretiuleshion...welldan... aiwillstatprektisingdisnewlengguej...dazenlookdetdiffikelt...meiswillprektis...prektismekspurfek. tengkiuverimacebbi!

Abby Latif: yorwelkamrazlin. oldomaimataosojulingoredi, bataiwilsakjesdeteveribadihuwanstukontiniuridingdistukonsiumlotsofkopiorneskefeorkefein. ithelpselot.

Sharifah Razlin: bat,aikennottekanitingkefinla...makinjulingmatahaku! hahahahahaha...disniudiskaverinotonliaplikebelforinglishkan?

Abby Latif: nono, mainiulengguejisverimachfleksibel. yiukenivenyusaderlengguejosobataidaubdeteniwanelswilandersten, sowatsdepoinkan?

Aniq Husda: aidonwantukrekmaibrenoverdis. Aimgowingtukuksoptorpidoformaihasben! yeyehenbabaitumaikrekpotsister! hahahah

Abby Latif: soptorpido????????????? waaaaaaaa ................ maisisterkenkuksoptorpidowalawei! yiuatakajakmipun! notdetaiitsoptorpidopunbat ... yeah, yiunotajakmitumakanwatyiukukoso, aiveridisapointet.

Aniq Husda: yuneverfritukamtumaihausdisdeizsodetswaiyunevergeittutesmaikuking! Yuonlisitrudeblokonli. Waidunyukamwityofreinsaikenkukforyuollbatdontkamsepraisla! Yumekmaihartwantojamfrommaicheslaikdat!

Abby Latif: nono, aiwilnotmekyorhartjamferomyorches. bikosifyorhartjamferomyorches, hautumekbebislaikdat? hahahahaha ...

Aniq Husda: aikuksoptorpedobikosaiwanmaihasbentubisetrongtumekbeibislasoyukenhefmornisesennephiyustukorapwityorkrezilengguej!

Abby Latif: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA .................................. ailaikdatsomach, tengsyong. nauyiubofkengomakandetsoptorpidodetyiukukendenyiubofbiseterongenmekmenibeibissoaikenbikamantiebbidejiniuswan. aiwilvaututichmainisesennephiyustubikamesjiniusesaiem!

ai .... krezi ... mejiksyen.

Radziah Radzi: aduh abby, sungguh sukar membaca nota ini. od habiskan masa 32 minit untuk membaca kesemuanya :P

Jay Ismail: u tengah mengimprovise kan bahasa sanskrit ke..?

Abby Latif: Take 0.5! o.d. thanks for taking 32 minutes out of your busy working hour to read this, it means a lot sudah. jay, its not sanskrit, this is roman characters and its basically based on the normal language we talk everyday. do you even know how sanskrit look like? mana guna karektor ini!

Alfonse Dunst: letih baca mende ni.

Abby Latif: itisbreneksersais. aiemhelpingmaifreinstustimuletdeyarbrenektivitis.

Alfonse Dunst: brenkrem

Abby Latif: okeipipel, winidtuankremalfonsesbren.

Nur Zakuan: o_0
iv come to terms with my nondyslexic nature :)

i gave up after the 1st line

Abby Latif: nur, aiekspekmorferomyiu. hish.

Iskandar Ibrahim: ouhmaigod.. depoyemeesbeyewtiful.. ailaikeetsomash.. leyteraiwilgiftumaigerl.. eefdiyerterrerdenwearmedfoeshader.

Abby Latif: yesyes, aiosohopdetshiwillaikdepoyemenhopyiugaisarmedfoisharder! denwipartidiskodiskouutuut!

Iskandar Ibrahim: aimshuwergotsumwanseidispaijgotvairus.. hahaha! sadenlisisisamwankomplentufesbuk.. leyterdispaijkenadilitisuweirdetfellogetkikbatferomus!

ouhisendepoyemtumaigerl. aimshuwershiseiigiler..

Abby Latif: denyiuripelai, "yela, aigilerfoyiu!"

dispaijhesnovirus. etlisaidonputdossetupidkepitelensemolleterssimulteniusli. detislagisakitmataokei!

Kabir Malek: ohhhhhhhh
hahahahahah ohhhhh ok ok heheheheh haaaaa ok ..

aimshuwergotsumwanseidispaijgotvairus.. hahaha! sadenlisisisamwankomplentufesbuk.. leyterdispaijkenadilitisuweirdetfellogetkikbatferomus! (hahahahah LOL sumpah kelakar) hahahahha

Arfah Sulaiman: abby,

welimhepidaticanacelireaddis.
fozzseemsawalawaldahterinovolveindislengguej!

datsalltengkiu.

Abby Latif: hahahaham fozzismaisolmet! detswaishiosooredisabkonsyeslispikingdislengguej.

Din Nazir: demgudbrenenaiseksersaisespesialiwenyiuwantodaivertatensyenfromwerk

Abby Latif: tengschedin. aieperichietyorkomen.

gudmauningeveribadi. aihefespesyelenaunchmen.

aiemeMEJIKSYEN.

detismaienaunchmen.

tengkiuverimach.

losing control

Its best to have good support system. one which they will straight tell it off to your face.


I'm grateful for that.


We ... want ... to ... get ... a ... grip ... of ... ourself ... so ... that ... we ... don't ... act ... stupidly ...


Sometimes they do this for the best of us. So we don't destroy ourselves.


They've seen us inflicted with pain, one too many times. Again and again, we do it. For we are, suckers for pain. S&M s. *whips*


"Nurol Latif doesn't know the meaning of the word 'enough.'"

*whips*


"Nurol goes out of her way to share, care and be fair".

*whips*


My support system is drawing me a line.

Its not because I can't act or think on my own.


"Nurol is one of the most decisive people on the face of the planet. she absolutely, definitely knows what she wants but she only knows it from one second to the next. To the untrained eye this appears to be an inconsistency. What they fail to see are the countless nanoseconds during which Nurol's sense of purpose is solid as a rock."


But sometimes, within those nanoseconds, I can be pretty pretty destructively stupid.

the day I shall have self-control

A bit pushy, yes I am. I remembered telling a friend that I'm scared. She asked, "What are you scared of? Are you scared that you want her for yourself?".

I nodded.


Its a hell of a situation when we want things for ourself. Things we not necessarily need. Maybe.


And I think, due to that cause, I have scared her away.

Maybe.


Today I shall have firm hold of myself. To NOT care. To NOT be pushy. To NOT contact at all.


Give her sometime. Let her be. Friends are telling me this.


It was too fast and too soon.


I'm the kind of person who, on the third date, will ask, "So, tell me, we are now dating right? Cos I want to be able to tell people that I am unavailable and dating someone."

Straight to the point. Simple.


I am focused on that. Once I date someone, I have NOTHING for anyone else. NOTHING.


I was born in the Year of Dog. And like a dog, I am indeed LOYAL. My loyalty is unquestionable. Unfortunately, some doubt it. And sadly, some misuse it.


But of course, like a DOG, I come scurrying back to my owner. Even after being kicked and tortured. But once I can't take it, like a BITCH, I can be hell vicious and bite back till the owner dies.


Its either way. TOO LOYAL or DEADLY VENGEFUL.


But today, as loyal or vengeance as I am allowed to be,


I am INDIFFERENT.


With hopes ... of SELF-CONTROL.

the life that we choose

We're afraid to disappoint people
We crave for social acceptance
We try hard to impress people.


On the day of my sister's wedding, before she left home, she left us, the younger siblings with a very wise word of wisdom.

You are your own competition

That day I know she was (and still is) my hero for a reason.


What I'm writing today is to remind others, and I was reminded when I read Eric Li's note.


We live by our own choices.


I often write, life is part chance and part choice.


We often choose the wrong things, and God constantly gives us second chances.


We need to start choosing the right things.


I am not good.

I told Geoff, I'm a half practitioner, half sinner.

I know the implementation of the 'wasatiah' (moderation) concept is wrong here, but I try, to have a solid ground, so that whenever I lose ground, my faith will bring me back down to earth.

I'm not a good person.


But what is it about being good, we all hold different perceptions to that particular concept in life.


Life is not about other people, its about you, and that thought solely makes us SELFISH and a bit Self-Centered (a bit la).


But wouldn't it be good to know that how you treat your life makes the people around you love you more?


Its not that they would opt to love you less, but if you love yourself and treat yourself more, you'll earn the respect of others, not only respect, but trust, faith, care comes in a package.


We are bound to make big in this world.


Everyone are born with fair chances and choices. If God decides to take one person or one thing less from us compared to the others, we're always blessed with something or someone thats equally worthy.


We have nothing to lose in life. True.


But lets NOT be stupid and choose losing over winning.

Moment of Vanity

Nurol Latif
A very special Libran


Nurol Latif doesn't know the meaning of the word 'enough.' It's not that Nurol is greedy or that she lacks self-discipline - far from it. Nurol goes out of her way to share, care and be fair. That's why she never quite knows when to stop. To draw the line you have to be a little insensitive. How, precisely, should it be measured? With a magnifying glass? Or with a microscope? Nurol Latif is extremely sensitive and keenly perceptive. She is a Libran, born under the sign of the scale. Nurol knows in her heart that no matter how meticulously you ever weigh anything in this world you can always reach a different conclusion if you apply a more refined set of measurements. Nurol knows that those refinements are infinite. Hours have minutes, minutes have seconds. Seconds have nanoseconds. No wonder Nurol Latif is never sure what time it is!

Some people are prone to assume that Nurol has her head in the clouds. They think that she lives in a world of her own full of lofty ideas and complex theories. Other people have the temerity to watch Nurol at work in this way and to suppose that Nurol is indecisive! Where on earth do they get that idea from? Actually Nurol is one of the most decisive people on the face of the planet. she absolutely, definitely knows what she wants but she only knows it from one second to the next. To the untrained eye this appears to be an inconsistency. What they fail to see are the countless nanoseconds during which Nurol's sense of purpose is solid as a rock. Nurol, though, knows what people are thinking and so, to keep them on their toes she makes a point of declaring her intentions loudly and clearly. she makes quite sure that these brave statements never differ from day to day. That fools most of the people most of the time.

Another silly thing we do at work. At 5.45pm on a Friday. When my inbox is suddenly being filled with incoming report responses from Japan and Australia. *yawns*

You lots wanna try? Go ahead:- http://pisces.bubble.com/webstars/friend/friendForm.cfm


Fozzy made a good comment on it tho:-

The Truth About Nurol - from a FOZZful point of view :)

Nurol Latif doesn't know the meaning of the word 'enough.' - true
Nurol goes out of her way to share, care and be fair - true
Nurol knows in her heart that no matter how meticulously you ever weigh anything in this world you can always reach a different conclusion if you apply a more refined set of measurements. -true

Nurol is one of the most decisive people on the face of the planet. she absolutely, definitely knows what she wants but she only knows it from one second to the next. To the untrained eye this appears to be an inconsistency. What they fail to see are the countless nanoseconds during which Nurol's sense of purpose is solid as a rock. - TRUE!!
Nurol, though, knows what people are thinking and so, to keep them on their toes she makes a point of declaring her intentions loudly and clearly. - true

this is a classic tale of the fat short one, and the tall skinny one.

both are good in their own ways. people love to hold the tall skinny one, but the fat short one gave them more security and balance in life.

the tall skinny ones can look far ahead, because of the height advantage.

the fat short ones can give a firm stance, because of the weight advantage.

but ...

they are actually not rivals.

they don't compete against each other.

in fact, they compliment each other.

one gives a slight sour taste, and the other, a sweeter taste.

human tongue have parts for different tastebuds.

each part compliments the other, in creating balance.

this is a classic tale of the tall skinny one and the fat short one.

one we call the 'heart', and one we call 'the mind'.

Mind: Why did you go there?

Heart: A feeling.

Mind: What did you feel?

Heart: Something.

Mind: Like wanting to be hurt?

Heart: Sometimes we feel things we don't want to feel. Like those times when you think about things you shouldn't be thinking.

Mind: But I think it. And the thought vanished. Or being erased from my mind. What you feel makes you act on it. And then, put you in a spot where you're vulnerable to pain, or anger.

Heart: But I'm a heart. I'm supposed to feel pain, anger.

Mind: You should listen to me first.

Heart: Feelings and emotions sometimes come in an instant. Uncontrollable.

Mind: But the effect, the consequences, will fall on me. People would perceive my weakness in not being able to control my actions. Ones which was initially manouvered by you.

Heart: I can't be sorry of what I feel.

Mind: But you can if you listen to me.

Heart: Then tell me what to feel.

Mind: Happiness for what you've been blessed with, those who loves you and looks out for you. Grateful for what you have survived these years. And stop all these sappy nonsense.

Heart: Am I obliged to follow all these?

Mind: You've done things which you never spare thoughts for. I can't say that for you. I'm just a reMINDer.

Heart: ReMIND me often okay. I want to listen but sometimes I know I do things without proper judgement.

Mind: You can never judge. You can just feel. But just don't feel things that will not benefit you.

Heart: Okay. I feel you.

I said ""absence makes the heart grow fonder"

Then she replied ...

"absence is emptiness. friendship doesn't grow around empty radius. it has to have seeds to breed."

Suddenly I smile as Sinatra lends me his soft sappy song:-

I'm in the mood for love simply because you're near me
Funny but when you're near me, I'm in the mood for love.
Heaven is in your eyes, bright as the stars we're under,
Oh, is it any wonder, I'm in the mood for love.
Why stop to think of whether this little dream might fade,
We´ve put our hearts together - now we are one, I'm not afraid.
If there's a cloud above, if it should rain, we'll let it.
But for tonight forget it, I'm in the mood for love.


I remembered:-

Me: I'm just gonna pick you up and send you home. how bout that? cos I'm already in town

She: no supper / coffee ?

Me: can also. can supper and coffee. ;)

She: dats like u r obligated...i dont fancy dat

Me: no. I might be hungry later. so why not. I'm already in the office. So I might just leave by 10pm. Alang alang. its just a matter of convenience. no obligations whatsoever. keep it that way shall we ;) you don't fancy dat, but do you fancy me?

She: good... make my day. :p ouh plssss. snoopy ! :p

Me: thats not an answer. thats just merely addressing me cutely.

She: Fancy is positive. so i do fancy u

I'm trying hard here ... To not fall ...

A Cutting

F: hi by

A: hi far

F: im feeling better. thanks :)

A: Good! I'm glad. My dad knows I smoke :(

F: oh. shit. how kantoi?

A: hurm. not kantoi, they have known for long I think. but they started to acknowledge it in front of me

F: yikes. how was the confrontation?

A: last 2 days, my dad pesan kat my bro. suruh I go slow on my smoking. so he passed kat I. and semalam. I was out. My dad texted me.

F: Oh ok...

A: "U should be grateful with what U have in life.. and Allah SWT may take what we have within seconds! Look who we are & don't look at others. U late night stays & U smoking will not bring good to U. One fine day when U realized all these...it'll be too late! I'm feeling uncomfortable and sad."

F: aduhh. guilt big time, if i were u. rs bersalah jgkla

A: I immediately excused myself and went straight home

F: Awwwwwwwwwww. so sweeEt

A: I only replied to my dad, "Adik just left the office. Otw home. I'm sorry Abah. I'll be home in 15mins". I got home at 11.40pm. But they gone to bed already. I rasa nak nangis on my way back. but ........ I didn't

F: oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. yesterday was so shitty for both of us then.

A: is my life that bad fozzy? I mean, I've seen worst

F: NOoo. YES

A: am what I'm practicing in life that bad until it became a total disappointment to my parents?

F: not that bad klu consider our level. but of course to our conservative parents, its never good to know ur daughter smokes, goes home late at nite, parties here n there. my parents pon bisinng2 jgk

A: hurm .... My bro is freaking out and being paranoid. I know he's trying to be a good brother. but he's been like constantly calling me to go home early and stuff like that

F: trust me, everyday i blk lmbt sure dpt msg my dad "u r a girl. pls remember its not good for girls to be out late at Nite". mak i plak "balik la, tak elok asik blk mlm, ape jiran ckp. tak malu ke org ble ckp mcm2 nnti?" those kind of msgs aa, other then the usuaal "balik awal, bahaya blk lmbt"

A: my dad often gives me this very reverse psycho messages. which made me sad

F: haha dads

A: I was already planning to move out. But at times like these. You'd think they'd go berserk if I move out?

F: ermm. even if u think its for good..like u tanak susah kan org ke ape. but they wud think u r trying to weave ur way out so that u can hv the freedom to smoke and go out

A: True. Thats true.

F: so its kinda like mencurahkan minyak ke atas api yg tgh membara? chewah

A: OH MY GOD. PERIBAHASA. HEBAT!

F: lg dorg akan ingat u rebel etc, which is not ur intention at all. HAHAHHAHA.

A: Hurm ............................... Or maybe I cut down everything. and be good from today until the day that I move out.

F: yeah i think thats the best way. cam tone down sket. then baru move out

A: Hurm ............................

F: bukan i nak u jd hipokrit

A: Tone down dalam masa sebulan. I know

F: but i gues thats how to tackle parents?

A: Kenapa kau nak tackle parents aku?

F: if u keep on doing what they dont like, of course they will be more furious. sbb aku takde bf? setannn

A: HAHAHAHAHA. I think I have to cut everything now. except for working at the office till 9pm. that I can't cut. cos I need to. I am cutting her. I'm cutting everything else. ;(

This is a Sappy Entry.

A friend told me its okay to take time to appreciate someone. The gesture is important in this fast pace life of ours where we often forget things, here and there.


I have this one little petite angel as my comforter. And I'm the luckiest person alive. If you know her, you're lucky too. She's a gem. And she's my friend. ;-)


This is my constant. Whom I call my 'chenta hati'. A lady everyone must meet. A friend I've always brag about. She's single and available and hot too. For me, she's my comforter. I told her so on the second month of our friendship. I'd call her every other night then told her, her voice brought comfort to my heart. We became bestfriend since then. That was late 2004. We don't meet everyday. But I pity those who have not met her at all.


Today has been a rough day at work for her. But being my Work Idol, she managed to do damage control and still laughs at my jokes. I wrote a note on FB for her. To take her mind off the matter.

Fozzy: i wanted to say thank u very much actually

Abby: why why?

Fozzy: coz i read ur entry again n again

Abby: aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww ;)

Fozzy: and i really felt u comforted me :)

Abby: aaaawwwwwwww babe

Fozzy: and i wanna cry...but im holding it back

Abby: thats so nice

Fozzy: but then it made me remember..when u went thru shitty times mase u kat ____-_____ tu. was i there for u? i wasnt ke? i think i takde kan?

Abby: yes you were ;)

Fozzy: to be ON TIME when u needed me?

Abby: but that night, I went to farisa

Fozzy: yes yeah now i remember..i cudnt see u coz i hv WHAT ELSE, Work la

Abby: yeah. that was a very low point .. but I got you always I know .. even when you're busy doing work

Fozzy: thanks babe .. and seriously i cudnt be there on time when u needed me .. i remember i saw u only a few days after .. which is different dah kan

Abby: yeah, but still you were day ;)

Fozzy: im so sorry babe

Abby: no babe .. dont be .. you've always been there for me .. you've always listened .. couldn't asked for more .. the most constant friend I had throughout the years

Fozzy: awwwww .. i tried to be one...i know its not enuff..but i hope you can make do with what ive done so far

Abby: yes, and me you.

Fozzy: janji bile i dah tuka keje yg rileks sket, ill spend more time with the whole world .. esp my dear ones .. like u

Abby: yes, now you're replying emails to the whole world

Fozzy: haha .. argh .. makes me feel like my work is shitty .. bcoz of it, i owe time to the whole world..

Work is work. Love is love. Friendship is friendship. When I was down, she was always there to listen. Every single thing. Without judgement. I try hard to be there for her. Fozzy, this is for you. A post. And my sincere friendship. (kira ni belated birthday present la. haha)

Us a few months ago.

Hap'pening's

Apart from being smitten by a gorgeous person, I do catch up a lot with my whole lot of other friends and try not to disregard family commitments as well. Some tend to think that I sisihkan people and stuff like that. With my chaotic commitments here and there and also stealing time for my own, I TRY HARD to just accommodate to those who are available to me and who manage to just steal me away from time to time as well.


Last Diwali holiday (Monday) was family day for me. I took my little siblings out for movies, with Muid as well. We went for lunch and movie (House Bunny, yes, I am a cool sister who takes my little 13 and 15 yr old to funny sick movies and if only I can take them to 18PL movies, hehe) at One Utama.


And since I got some extra moolah, I decided to get a temporary tattoo at Butterfly, a tattoo and piercing parlor. But it took a long while and since I was wearing a tshirt, I basically smoothered the henna and messed the design up while it was drying. I practically had to lift down my shoulder sleeve during the entire movie. Thanked god it was funny enough so it wasn't THAT cold.


Owh, I got a Lunar Crescent Moon design on my shoulder back. Next time, it will be C-O-S-M-I-C right across the lower neck. Next time. When I'm off for my beach vacation. That'll be sweet to have when you're wearing a two-piece bikini, right? Hehe.

Me thinks the round collar has gotten wider now, demm, it was my new tshirt.
(Photo Credit: Muid Latif)

On Halloween, my friend Pai from Sabah was in town and apparently Iskandar booked a table in Heritage Mansion so I took Pai to crash Iskandar's Halloween party. Hehehe. It was a great night with some cool party-goers and I love them and of course, I got .... a bit .... happy by the end of the night, but still manage to send Pai back to Eastin Hotel (where he was staying) and then went to Bandar Sri Damansara to watch Akhtar jam with her band but apparently when I got there, they were already done and heading for supper. Had supper with them and sent Akhtar back and then dozed off once I got home.

Iskandar dressed as Dr. House while me and Ena dressed as 'fragments of your imagination'.

Saturday was a homestay for me. I woke up at 11am and drowsily went down and wash my car to kill off the hungover. Pretty sweet right, kill a hangover by washing one's car. Hahaha. It did help.


But towards the afternoon, I had a row with mom and decided to go out. Went to Low Yatt alone, got some printer cables and cartridges, had some beef teppanyaki and walked in Pavillion, got me some new running pants.


Sunday morning, I decided to participate in the Terry Fox Run which Ida co-organise and asked Effa to join me, since she runs a lot and I haven't met her in awhile. Despite whining to each other how we couldn't find our running shoes, I managed to find one to loan her and one for myself (apparently sneakers are scattered at home, haha). Picked her up at 7am and got to Lake Garden at 7.30am. The crowd was massive! But we had some cool time, bumping into mutual friends and ran (and walked) the 5km route around Lake Garden. I'll definitely join next year and I think, I'll be running at least 2 times a month now. Yippee yeay, back to (so-called) healthy life routine!!!

The starting point

Team Tak Kisah (named by Effa) Group Photo. Hehehehe...

Ida and me after the run. Well, Ida walked. Hehehe.

After the run we went for breakfast at Dataran Sunway Kota Damansara just so I can meet Syiqin before she goes back to Penang. We had our brunch with Shaf, YD and Syiqin then by 1pm, sent Effa back home.


Monday, got in the office aching all over my lower body, because of the run and also first day period. But it was cured during dinner with Suzie, Fynaz, Gjie, YD, Eddie, Muid, Leen and Akhtar who joined much later after she finished work.

Thats just about it, my flu is still ongoing although the fever has gone away. Huhuhuhu. Flu flu fly away!