Reminiscing

Reading Razlin's note on Wawan's graduation somehow brought me down memory lane.

We moved a lot. I never went to any kindergarten. Those days, it was just reading Yongie's and Muid's schoolbooks for me. Or poking our maid's butt whenever she bends over the washing machine. Seriously, that was fun enough. Remembered those days when Abah tried to turn my 4-wheel (yes, have been a 4WD driver since 4) to 3 wheels, until I fell flat on my cheeks as I was riding downhill in our house in Selayang.

Owh, those memories. The house seems so big back then. Maybe cos I was so small. I remembered when Abah went to Australia (before we went to join him), Mama would take us out every single weekend, on the bus, and crash all cinemas, regardless what was showing. Of course, my favourite can drink 'Sudi' soda was a must-buy whenever we stroll down Chow Kit Road. Yes, sipping 'Sudi' cola with a soundtrack of Sudirman's Chow Kitt road is so nice. I was already humming to it when I was 5.

The only pre-school experience I had was in Queenscliff. But Abah was adamant enough to expose me to the Malaysian education, so he brought with us a stack of Primary One books. Just for me. By the time we came back to Malaysia and stationed in JB, I had practically memorised everything in the syllabus and school was just a place not for learning, but just so happen I needed day-care. I was more excited to bringing my boldly red ALF bag to school then meeting anyone actually. The ones I wanted to meet was just my brother, who could just spare me his recess time having a small sister tagging along, or maybe those couple of times sticking my head at Yongie's class, complaining how "Yong... adik tak siap homework" until her teachers all got used to it. Haha, sorry Yongie. Such a nuisance, I know.

Pre-school in Queenscliff was something else. I remembered vividly how my teacher got panicked when I started crying during a classmate's birthday party in class. Just so happen, I was supposedly trying to fast when they brought out the delicious chocolate cake with smarties topping the white cream icing. She had to run to Yongie's class and called Yongie, who came and just guide me to reciting the 'doa buka puasa'. Of course, a happy camper after that, I was on top of the world happily eating with friends, didn't even share with Yongie. Well, dia puasa kan. Hahaha.

I never could remember what I learned there. The only thing that amused me was the blue pencils we use everyday instead of normal pencils. That was funny. And Kyle. Owh Kyle. Who at that time look more suited for Jennifer. Who's also pretty. But who did I end up kissing behind the bushes? Cameron. Sissy Cameron. Who later told Philip about it. Who then stole a kiss in the middle of the hallway. Yucks, I ran away. Then I remembered 'Show n Tell'. Miranda brought a penguin. I never knew penguin can live in places outside where there's no ice or snow. So I figured she must've had an artificial igloo at home for her penguin. Or maybe just keep the penguin in a freezer or something. Well, at least I gave it a thought. Bear in mind, I was 6.

Owh, and those monopoly games we used to play at Aunty Lydia's place. Endless. At the tender age of 6, I learn about real estates. And know what mortgages were. And I wonder why my parents were making a big fuss about me being 'piranha' who loves money (i.e. spending money). Parents should take note of what they've exposed their children to, hehe.

And those chess games I used to play with Abah. I was so loving chess. At 6, all the new things were so fascinating. I know Abah let me win all the time. But of course, I would just want to admit my being a genius.

When we were growing up and moving around, I noticed one thing, regardless the different school Abah had to register me, Muid and Yongie, he will always be there on our first day. And Mama. All our sick days, she would take leaves to tend to us. I remember those small ribena packet drinks Mama and Abah will buy when we're lying down in bed with tissues all over the place, a basin of water and cloth to wipe our faces and body.

I remember when I started wearing braces. I was in MRSM. Abah never fail to follow me to my monthly check up, even though I was in boarding in Melaka, and the whole family were elsewhere, Selayang, Port Dickson, then Sungai Besi.

But the day I had to take them off. Abah was in East Timor serving for the United Nations. He wasn't there. I remembered my pet-sis sitting beside me in the car that we had to rent to get to the hospital,l who got so shocked when I started crying. I cried because, for the first time, Abah wasn't there. I did everything with Abah by my side, my first days in 7 schools, my dental appointments.

I also remembered crying when I was warded for my severe athsma attack when I was 17. Abah and Mama weren't in the country, they were in Turkey. I cried in the hospital bed, having Juju's family instead who visited me. Whatever happened to them now, I don't know. I was grateful to have my friends, who helped me when I was having that seizure or some sort. I remembered grabbing and squeezing Tina's hand, gasping for air to breathe. That was my worst attack.

Remembering is good sometimes. Just to keep track what we do remember in life.

I know, the person I grew up to be, was not the same exact person as I was growing up.

People change. Alin said some drastic change happened recently. And knowing me for nearly 12 years, I take her word on it. And this is coming from someone who actually haven't seen me for awhile, who will magically know when I'm sad, or I'm down, for some weird cosmic mystery of the universe on how she would figure it out.

I now know I have written things off track. Initially, I wanted to remember what was pre-school days for me. We have come to the inter-junction of my now life.

If only I can experience that one day. That day when I fell down on the way to Point Lonsdale Primary School. I know that. Because I have a picture of it on my wall, with a handyplast on my knee.

We often want to relive our previous lives.

Its not that we hate the lives we're living today.

But I guess the little "adik baby" inside me never grew up.