the day I shall have self-control

A bit pushy, yes I am. I remembered telling a friend that I'm scared. She asked, "What are you scared of? Are you scared that you want her for yourself?".

I nodded.


Its a hell of a situation when we want things for ourself. Things we not necessarily need. Maybe.


And I think, due to that cause, I have scared her away.

Maybe.


Today I shall have firm hold of myself. To NOT care. To NOT be pushy. To NOT contact at all.


Give her sometime. Let her be. Friends are telling me this.


It was too fast and too soon.


I'm the kind of person who, on the third date, will ask, "So, tell me, we are now dating right? Cos I want to be able to tell people that I am unavailable and dating someone."

Straight to the point. Simple.


I am focused on that. Once I date someone, I have NOTHING for anyone else. NOTHING.


I was born in the Year of Dog. And like a dog, I am indeed LOYAL. My loyalty is unquestionable. Unfortunately, some doubt it. And sadly, some misuse it.


But of course, like a DOG, I come scurrying back to my owner. Even after being kicked and tortured. But once I can't take it, like a BITCH, I can be hell vicious and bite back till the owner dies.


Its either way. TOO LOYAL or DEADLY VENGEFUL.


But today, as loyal or vengeance as I am allowed to be,


I am INDIFFERENT.


With hopes ... of SELF-CONTROL.