when should I stop all these nonsense?

"We humans have two great problems: the first is knowing when to begin, the second is knowing when to stop." - Paulo Coelho in The Zahir.

And so, we begin to think about life. About the things that made us smile. Things where hope clings like a thread on a needle. Fragile, at anytime it can just fall off and you need to put on your BIG glasses to put it back in the needle hole again.

Hope clings like a thread on a needle. And we, hopeless people, tried hard to cling to hope.

Wishful thinking. Those words are pretty often told by friends to me. Being brave and strong to be feeling things I'm not allowed to feel anymore. Because they fear I might do something foolish. Like ruining a friendship. Again.

In times like these, my heart become restless. Wanting so much to feel the forbidden emotions. Emotions which comes in the form of love. Not just a sappy romantic love. But a stronger version of love. Where I, Abby, at anytime, will protect and be a happy slave to the person I've fallen in love with.

But its forbidden. I know a few people are so ready to whack me on the head. I know the consequences of my actions if I ever voice out my feelings to the person I wanted to tell it to the most.

Where's the fullstop? When can we be able to put a switch on feeling LOVE?

I've been told by people that they love me when all they did was just talk cock.

I've told people I love them and they get disgusted with me, or block me on Flickr.

What gives.

Abby, love for you is very dangerous. You know whats at stake here. Friendship, you're putting your friendship in jeopardy.

Who likes to gamble?

I don't. I don't like to place bets. I don't gamble. I'm an analyst. I analyses the risk. I tried hard to think what people would think at every situation or issues that arises. Well, I tried. Some people like to jump on trains and be care free. I step on it carefully. Because if I fall down, how can I protect the ones I love from falling down?

We're back to love again. Sappy hopeless love (shit) fool.

My mind is all messed up. If only. If only. *wishful thinking*

Human's sexual preferences are at equilibrium. A friend told me. *wishful thinking*

What if. What if.

What is equilibrium?

"A condition in which all acting influences are canceled by others, resulting in a stable, balanced, or unchanging system."

*wishful thinking*

I should give myself more projects. Yes. I should run. Yes. I should finish my book. Later.

Procrastinate.

Don't tell yet. Give more time.

Don't tell at all. Don't ruin it.

What if. If only. Equilibrium. *wishful thinking*

Okay. I shall call it a night.