Moving On

Yesterday I did (somewhat) a brave thing. I told a dear friend I once had a crush on her. It might sound just so very simple, but it took my guts to tell her. And I'm glad I did. Because I respect the nice friendship we're building and I'm trying to eliminate any existence of hidden agenda that my subconscious self might still be clinging on to.

Today I had a deep conversation with a friend about love. About falling in love.

I told her I'm tired of it now. And I'm not even 26 years old yet. She told me, when she was in my age, she was running around, waking up at 8am, sleeping at 4am, being in love.

I told her. I have had that. Grand Love. One true love. The love that you'll get to experience once and never allowed to keep.

From now on in my life, everyone that comes by, will be compared to that person.

My friend was quite shocked with this revelation. Although she did admit that when I was in a relationship with a guy, I made the guy looked like he was wearing the skirt in the relationship. Apparently, it has been told by a few other person, that I seem like the dominating partner and I need someone who's more dominating to control me.

What do you do when you're tired of love? Will you submit yourself to the possibility of being in love again?

From now on, nothing can beat those sweet memories I had with the Grand Love. She might be gone from my life, she might have cut me off entirely and left me blaming myself every single night and day.

So, what do you do when love is no longer an option?

I don't settle for less. Thats just me. Thats why I don't go out on dates. For what its worth, my friends will enjoy the benefits of being treated like lovers, by me. I'll cheers to that!